Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tops, Bottoms, Nothing.

Hey, here’s something that should help you sleep at night (those of you living in Michigan specifically). Today I was just brushing up on my trivia (as opposed to the original plan of giving myself paper cuts all day) and I came across an interesting fact. Apparently it is legal for the blind to hunt in both Texas and Michigan. However in Texas a sighted individual must accompany the ‘hunter’. Apparently in Michigan Blinky can hunt without such an accompaniment. This poses a few questions? The least of all is: How does one hunt when blind? I mean if you hear rustling in bushes do you just fire? Have you just shot a partridge, a kudu, or a scout troop? Are your other senses heightened and thus can tell that said rustling belongs to a dear in his mid forties, with a slight limp? Or do you just wait till you get mauled by the grizzly charging you and then shoot? To me there are all sorts of problems with this law. The stuff I read was questioning how you find your game after shooting it (this is assuming of course Blinky has some kick ass aim) Do you just shuffle along in the underbrush until you put your foot into a warm pile of intestine? How do you strap your zebra to the roof rack to get it home . . . ? Where do you get a roof-rack? Or can the blind drive legally in Michigan too, because if they can this whole hunting law is making a lot more sense. See? Problems.


On my recent trip “10 States 1 Lemon” I visited Michigan for the deliriously brief span of perhaps 6 hours. The state is a total dump. Economic climate, the crash of automobile industry, thousands job-less etc. . . . or is it due to the blind being allowed to hunt unsupervised? I ask you? Michigan has an enormous amount of road kill. And Christ knows what it is, there's a chance the death toll is 50/50: human and wildlife. It's all unidentifiable. Bits are strewn everywhere, antlers here, a torso there. I mean there's tonnes of road-kill on the interstate anyway, but in Michigan it was particularly gruesome. And now ladies and gentlemen, we know why.


Cee . . . perhaps you have some opinions on this subject? You like shooting stuff. What are the laws in the Yukon these days? And how safe do you feel knowing that there could be a blind person out for a Sunday massacre?





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