How was your week?

Lousy. Thank you for asking.

It's getting increasingly difficult to stay positive, never-mind feel like a worthwhile human being.

When asked last Saturday morning if I felt like playing that afternoon, I responded via text (as the tears were showing no sign of letting up anytime soon) "I'm pretty blue, I'll probably just try and unsuccessfully drown myself in the tub I'm too big to fit in."

My friend called me within seconds of me pressing send, and was the lucky recipient of a blubbering blonde on the other end of the line.

For those of you that think I've been @%*$#-ing the dog with this whole job-search thing, you're only half right. It got off to a slow start, what with Lemon abandoning me, the book illustration, and the numerous free-lance fiascos I attempted. Now with X-mas over and being well into the new year, I've tried to eliminate distractions and buckle down.

I thought it was going pretty well until last Saturday morning. After 2 weeks of revising, re-revising, discarding and re-writing I crafted (with the help of the internets and my job-search Guru) the perfect covering letter. I made awkward cold calls to random people in random provinces and scribbled down virtually meaningless names.

Finally, I sent my gem of a CV to a faceless name at "Dream Job". One week later I scored a phone interview. After a decent chat I was offered a second interview taking place the following week here in Vancouver. That interview lasted just over an hour. The next day I got a call for a third interview. I imagine to match the three positions I had applied for. I met two more members of the hiring panel. After almost another hour of talking we ended the interview with my audience joking about me sitting in with them for the remainder of the day's candidates.

Stupidly I thought it was in the bag. Turns out it was in the bag, but it was a bag of shit tied in the middle. A week later I was more than a little surprised to receive a sterile sounding e-mail saying "forget it".

Since then I've been rotating between rolling around on my incredibly inadequate sofa crying my eyes out and drinking too many mimosas. So far March blows. It came in like a lion, and it's teeth have sunk firmly in the back of my neck with no hint of letting go.